The Senate has passed S. 1182 - the "Veterans Health Care Act of 2005." Provisions of this bill:

1) The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs will now be allowed to hire Marriage and Family Therapists within VA to provide complete readjustment services and counseling to Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom veterans. (They will be allowed to. Back-channel communications will explain this is not a career-enhancing for VA department heads.

2) Require VA to expand the number of clinical care providers dedicated to the treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. (Busget will provide for hiring 4 more counsellors from the American Enterprise Institute, and 3 from the Heritage Foundation.)

3) Require VA to expand tele-health initiatives in rural areas. (It's much easier to tell a Vet suffering from PTSD to take two aspirins and suck it up, if you're using a phone.)

4) Require VA to expand mental health services in Community-based Outpatient Clinics. (Such programs are to be optimized for sub-contracting to faith-based agencies and churches.)

5) Require VA to expand the Global War on Terrorism Outreach Program, which places Iraq war and Afghanistan war veterans in Vet Centers and encourages them to reach out to returning National Guard and Reservists. (No fair saying, "Fer Gawd's sake don't come to the VA!"

6) Require the Secretary of the VA to establish a strategic plan for long-term care. (Undoubtedly the strategic plan will include a very aggressive publicity campaign, which will absorb 72% of the appropriated budget.)

7)) Increase the total funding for VA's programs to assist homeless veterans to $130 million. Rumors that the finding of this program's expansion to $72 Billion to accomodate Halliburton's participation could not be verified at press time.)

8) And the VA will now be allowed to provide up to 14 days of care for newborns of female veterans. (If said female vetrans are married to males.)

The bill now awaits action by the U.S. House of Representatives, (where such bills traditionally are allowed to die a meaningless death, because soldiers that aren't suppressing once-free Iraqis, and securing foreign oil are just useless drains on Halliburton's Treasury.)