This was just too good to pass up. In the wake of a published list of Darth Cheney’s hotel suite demands when on the road, The Satirical Political Report has discovered there is a similar list for Mr Bush’s road trips.

1. All lights turned off — Bush prefers to stay in the dark.

2. Four cartons of chocolate milk, and a package of Oreos, in honor of such Bush aides as Claude “The Fraud” Allen.

3. Temperature set to 31 degrees — helps maintain Bush’s “brain freeze.”

4. Two televisions, one equipped with an X-Box, one tuned to The Cartoon Channel.

5. Wireless internet capacity, so he can track NSA surveillance of Helen Thomas.

6. A swivel chair, so the President can do “whirlybirds.”

7. For reading material, a comic book version of The King James Bible.

8. For when he travels with Laura, a banner over the bed, reading: “MISSIONARY POSITION ACCOMPLISHED.”

9. A “double-commode” in the bathroom, so that Bush can share intimate moments with Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove.

10. A sign on the back of the hotel room door, providing a map for an “exit strategy.”