The Boston Globe had a compelling story about one way the Maine Army National Guard is trying to support the families of members serving overseas.
Guard families cope in two dimensions
`Flat Daddy' cutouts ease longingBy Brian MacQuarrie, Globe Staff | August 30, 2006
Maine National Guard members in Iraq and Afghanistan are never far from the thoughts of their loved ones.
Welcome to the "Flat Daddy" and "Flat Mommy" phenomenon, in which life-size cutouts of deployed service members are given by the Maine National Guard to spouses, children, and relatives back home.The Flat Daddies ride in cars, sit at the dinner table, visit the dentist, and even are brought to confession, according to their significant others on the home front.
"I prop him up in a chair, or sometimes put him on the couch and cover him up with a blanket," said Kay Judkins of Caribou, whose husband, Jim, is a minesweeper mechanic in Afghanistan. "The cat will curl up on the blanket, and it looks kind of weird. I've tricked several people by that. They think he's home again."
At the request of relatives, about 200 Flat Daddy and Flat Mommy photos have been enlarged and printed at the state National Guard headquarters in Augusta. The families cut out the photos, which show the Guard members from the waist up, and glue them to a $2 piece of foam board.
Sergeant First Class Barbara Claudel, the state family-support director who began the program, said the response from Guard families has been giddily enthusiastic.
"If there's something we can do to make it a little easier on the families, then that's our job and our responsibility. It brings them a little bit closer and might help them somewhere down the line," Claudel said yesterday.
"You know, this is my motto: `Deployment isn't a big thing, it's a million little things.' These families go through a lot."
While most families stay in touch with their guardsmen by e-mail, snapshots, and videophone, the cutouts are unusual.
"It's a novel approach," said John Goheen, spokesman for the National Guard Association of the United States, a Washington-based lobbying group. "It's to remind the kids that this guy and this woman is still part of your life, that this is what they look like, and this is how big they are."
Claudel said she heard about the Flat Daddy idea while attending a national conference for the Guard. In Maine, the initiative began about eight months ago when Flat Daddies were offered as part of the deployment of B Company, Third Battalion, 172d Mountain Infantry, which is based in Brewer.
Now, when units are mobilized, the Guard organizes Flat Daddy parties, in which families can meet one another while receiving instructions on assembling the photos.
Judkins said the cutout has been a comfort since her husband was deployed in January.
"He goes everywhere with me. Every day he comes to work with me," said Judkins, who works in a dentist's office. "I just bought a new table from the Amish community, and he sits at the head of the table. Yes, he does."
In the car, her husband's image sits behind the driver's seat so Judkins can keep an eye on him. A third-grade class writes to him as their "adopted" guardsman. And Judkins even brought her husband's cutout -- which she calls Slim Jim, because he's not -- to confession at the local church.
When asked what her husband had to confess, Judkins laughed. "That's private," she said.
Jim Judkins had at least one precarious moment as a cutout. When cousins tried to stuff him into a suitcase to take on a cruise, they broke his neck. But instead of expensive surgery, all the cutout needed was a little duct tape, Judkins said.
Cindy Branscom of Hallowell, whose husband, Colonel John Branscom, is in Afghanistan, said spouses of service members in the 240th Engineer Group often bring their Flat Daddies to monthly support meetings and group barbecues. She said one spouse, Mary Holbrook of Hermon, has been seen in the company of her cutout husband, Lieutenant Colonel Randall Holbrook.
"Mary has taken Randy to different events," Branscom said.
But then again, that's almost expected.
"I think it's wonderful," Branscom said. "My Flat Daddy sits in my dining room all the time. He even went to Easter dinner with us at my family's house."
You’re not “supposed” to reproduce an entire article because there’s this copyright thing, but I thought you should read all of it. If the Boston Globe has a problem, they can contact me.
As far as I can remember this is the first positive thing I’ve ever seen the Army do to support the families of members fighting this crappy war Mr Bu$h and Mr Cheney forced on the world.
Kudos to SFC CLaudel. As far as I’m concerned she’s more than earned her promotion to MSG by giving family members something tangible to remember their loved ones.
I hope and pray all of them come home safe and healthy and they never have to deploy again.
Comments
Lurch, I notice it's an E-7 that got it going. God bless the individual GI who just does it and doesn't wait for "programmatic solutions..."
Now MIke, you know we just keep officers around to make the front of the formation look elegant.
Y'all might want to take a look at some of the reactions over at DKOS.
Sigh. So many levels of this for me: military spouse, social work officer, pre-deployment mental healthbriefer, Iraq vet, father, etc.
*Professionally*, I'm all about keeping an image of an absent parent in regular, plain view. When my spouse was still actively drilling, and one of us wwent off to AT, we used face photos of each other to "goodnight kiss" the boys when they were very young. That significantly reduced the "I'll ignore you for leaving" treatment we each received on our returns. I can see that same mechanism working here, with full size "cutouts".
What I'm NOT sure is the whole "flat parent" movement thing they got going. Parties? Picnics? Uhhhh....as a mental health professional I have some concerns there. A pic of Dad or Mom around the house, even full size, is one thing, and each family can develop how they will use that pic in their own way. But the whole group thing strikes me as anthrpomorphizing cardboard, which is probably not a good thing for small children.
Also, let's take a minute and consider a possible what if: what if the soldier so pictured is killed, or returns home with significant and visible war injury? What are the possible reactions of a child? This sort of thing does require a bit of a longer term consideration than "just while they are gone".
Kudos to the NCO who was thinking outside the box. But....has the ME-ARNG thought through all the implications, and what sort of mental health supports do they have on tap (the ARNG, as a whole, does not have many social workers or psychiatrists...about one per ASMB; most of us are in the USAR, and just TRY and get the two components to share the wealth....). Pictures by all means; "flat parents" and the whole "activities thing" is taking it a step too far in this soldier's opinion.
Neil O'C
Sun Prairie, WI
Lurch, I walked both sides of the street, "E" and "O", and I can assure you there is much greater clarity and common sense on the "E" side! Glad you all dodged Ernesto; we're getting outer rain bands up here in Va now.
Neil, thanks for the very thoughtful commentary. There's a lot to consider in what you say. I read the Dkos article and comments and came away with a very confused mind, as I think many of the commenters had.
Let's be plain here; this "flat soldier' program was not created to soothe the sensibilities of bloggers or commenters to blogs. It had only one purpose: to ease the pain of separation for the family members of Maine's ANG units. From the original article I get the idea they are very enthusiastic about it.
Looking at it from that point of view, who gives a five pound bag of fertilizer what you, or I, or the dkos community, or Markos himself, think about the program? We, and they, are not the clients of the program. Now, sure, they're entitled to an opinion because this is America.
Reading the anecdote about the woman who brings her flat husband everywhere, including confession, I thought it seems a bit eerie, but it's like a child who drags a favorite stuffed toy wherever she goes. She's deriving comfort. She and her husband understood the risks of his participation in the ANG. For all I know she carries a rosary in her purse, and if that gives her comfort I'm fine with the idea.
Maybe I have the wrong handle on this but maybe the efforts of mental health specialists will be necessary if the service member comes home grievously wounded, or mutilated, or in a "transfer tube." Are you prepared to take these icons away from these people and tell them they can't have them because of a potential problem down the road?
Thanks, Mike. It wasn't nearly as bad as our hapless media made it out to be, and I hope you don't have problems up where you are .
Neil, you raise good points, but I wonder if perhaps it's not better to gamble that the parent will return intact in exchange for a little comfort to the family during the time of the deployment. Concur that taking the photo/avatar/whatever into the confessional (or anyplace you wouldn't take the live human...) is a bit out there.
Lurch,
I had too chew on this a bit.
If it really was an E7 who came up with this, I'd consider it a gift from heaven. Furthermore confirmation(as if any was needed) that it is non-com officers who know fug about what goes on in the military
But then my cynic syndrome kicks in and says, the only reason she got away with it is because it didn't cost nothing, in any case less than body armor
Lurch, Mike:
Thanks for the comments.
One of the principle rules of social work is to never remove a coping mechanism until one has something better to replace it. I'll be the last to advocate removing something...including life sized cardboard cut outs....from folks who find them supportive.
It's the organizational support/emphasis/plans on the "outside world" activities which bothers me. These cut outs are nice reminders; I do not believe they need to become, with ARNG support, substitutes or physical stand ins at events.
Well intentioned, but the activiy bit is a tad far. And, yes, I got quite sting-eyed at the comments by the spouse who describes all the things she does with her husband's picture. It's a real mix of good intention/creative thinking/and taking it a bit far. I'm just hoping they are matching the photo effort with some pro-active outreach by real human beings.
Neil O'C
Sun Prairie, WI
Chuck, I think the reason this has worked so well (or seems to have worked) is because it was a local unit initiative. I doubt it would have worked as well as a battalion or brigade level project because it would have had to have been approved at state level.
And yes, I'll bet the costs were pretty low. I wouldn't be surprised if local businesses helped by donating materials.
Thanks for the additional comments, Neil. I wonder if there is any way you can inquire through professional contacts just what sort of pro-active outreach support is available to these family members?
Is it professionally appropriate for you to ask?
Lurch et al:
Not sure I'd get much beyond "of course we have support". But, heck....one advantage of being an O-5 is at least they are polite when they tell ya to pound sand....;0
Lemme see what I can find out.....
Neil O'C
Sun Prairie WI
Adding decorative flair to formations since 1982...
Thanks very much Neil. I appreciate any information you can add to the mix.
Damn fine signature file you've got there. ;)
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