Gadzooks! The General has been reading my private diary!

He kilt the man who tried to kill his daddy

George W. Bush
The Lord's Chosen

Your Majesty,

There is only one course left for you to take now that Saddam bin Laden is finally dead. You must give a speech in prime time detailing your long battle against this man. Your father should be made to kneel down beside you as you address the nation, so that once and for all, the world will know that you are a better man and a greater leader than him. Saddam's dead, naked body should be draped over the podium as you speak, and once you've finished, you should have your way with it to demonstrate that you've achieved the only thing you ever really wanted to accomplish in Iraq, the total domination of the man your father couldn't control, not with weapons sales or war. Then, you should bring our troops home.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

I feel replenished, fortified, and vindicated, in an entirely heterosexual way.