There is only one Monkeyfister, and he just bought his first house. It looks peachy, and on a piece of nicely wooded land just shy of two acres, there’s a lot to be done.

I, JUST HOURS AGO, closed on an a great property (pictured here), on nearly 2 acres of land from a very good friend of mine, thus doing BOTH of us a favor. 1450 sq ft, great interior, a little pine forest starting, lots of room to demonstrate what I have been carping about for the past several years... FINALLY!!!! I'll go into greater detail, later, But I've FINALLY got my first house and property.

Ah! All that horrible lawn that needs watering, cutting, watering, weeding, lime every spring, watering, and cutting. Your neighbors bitch when you put pink flamingos and lawn trolls out – forget about a nice tasteful windmill with arms that spin when the breezes blow through. What good is it if you don’t have a lawn bowls set?

Congratulations, MF, best wishes to you.