History can be a cruel observer:

A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.

Daniel Blackner, or "Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf", was due to perform at the Circus of Horrors at the festival known for its oddball, offbeat performances.

The main part of his act saw him appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member through a special attachment.

The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately only let it dry for 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required.

He then joined it directly to his organ. The end result? A solid attachment, laughter, mortification and ... hospitalisation.

"It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed AE with a vacuum attached to me," Blackner said.

"I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short-lived."

Do NOT criticize me for posting this. I was forced to post it by Pam.

On an unrelated note, I'm sitting here bleary-eyed and look at what I came across -- you just can't make this stuff up.

Serendipitously, this was posted as an addendum to a short piece about Rudy Giuliani. (The posting tag in fact is rudy giuliani - go see for yourself.) I was so bemused by Ms Spaulding’s conflation of a Scottish midget with the height-challenged Mr Giuliani, and a vacuum cleaner errrmmm connection with the – you know, nudge, nudge, wink, wink, with Mr Giuliani, who seems to have some nudge, nudge, wink, wink, open zipper issues that before I knew it the post was written.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.