Those of us who are patriotic Americans (especially those of us who have served our country in uniform, whether in peace or war) are naturally concerned about the implications of the GAO report that has just been published. It indicates that the Mess o’Potamia has only managed to meet three of 18 benchmarks, and has apparently partially met another 4 of them. The nation has invested a lot of blood – almost 3,800 Americans have paid the price for Mr Bu$h’s little ego-tantrum. Many thousands more have been wounded, maimed, blinded, made into cripples, or brain vegetables by his need to prove his manhood. We’ve invested close to one TRILLION dollars into this sinkhole, and since we’re not really paying for this, but rather using a special Chinese credit card, our grandchildren will end up paying far more than four TRILLION dollars when you figure in carrying charges, interest, penalties, and all the other gimmicks associated with borrowing money.

Some of us, notably Americans who may or may not be patriotic, but who have always skived away from the chance to don a uniform and participate in democracy’s defense, think the Glorious Little Exercise in Imperialism is the most wonderful thing since man first invented cinnamon toast.

Unsurprisingly Generalissimo Field Marshal Fred Kagan (of the United States Kagan Korporation) feels that the GAO report is wrong – just wrong - in its entirety. [All emphases added.]

The GAO report reflects everything that has been wrong with the discussion about Iraq since the end of 2006. Through no fault of the GAO's, the organization was sent on a fool's errand by Congress. Its mandate was not to evaluate progress in Iraq, but to determine whether or not the Iraqi government had met the 18 benchmarks.

Because, you see, establishing benchmarks is certainly not measuring progress. It’s – umm – well, it’s just not. That’s all.

As a result, as the report repeatedly notes, the GAO was forced to fit an extraordinarily complicated reality into a black-and-white, yes-or-no simplicity. In addition, the GAO's remit extended only to evaluating progress on the Congressionally-sanctioned 18 benchmarks, 14 of which were established between eight and 11 months ago in a very different context.

Wait. Wait. Didn’t you just tell us benchmarks aren’t progress? Or is it that progress isn’t benchmarks? I’m so confused my brain hurts.

And about that reality. My poor mind, trained in the crippling discipline of logic, always thought scientific measurement of parameters was somehow the proper way to judge progress and success. I’m just a child of the Enlightenment, I suppose. So 18th century.

A number of commentators have already pointed out the absurdity of measuring whether or not the Iraqis had accomplished benchmarks rather than considering their progress toward doing so. Even the GAO found that task ridiculous, which is why, after criticism from the Departments of State and Defense, it invented the category of "partially met" as a third option, a category not foreseen in the legislation mandating the report.

So, benchmarks are not progress, but progress towards achieving benchmarks is progress? (I’m starting to get the hang of this Likud logic. I must be making progress. Have I marked a bench yet?

One of the most striking things about the GAO Report is its failure to take adequate notice of the Anbar Awakening and the general movement within the Sunni Arab community against Al Qaeda In Iraq and toward the Coalition. "Anbar" appears twice in the document, both times in a comment noting that violence has fallen in that province, but without reference to the turn of the Sunni population against the terrorists. That omission is unfathomable considering the significance of the movement among Sunnis over precisely the time in which the GAO was researching and producing this report.

Generalissimo Field Marshal Kagan seems to be claiming that somehow the “Anbar Awakening” was an unexpected development which proves that his Schlieffen Plan of the surge escalation was just about as good as cinnamon toast. He might have missed the fact that it stems from a bunch of brigands and road thieves who happen to like their criminal life (including the Islamically proscribed western whiskey) very much, and when confronted by a bunch of crazy fundamentalists (al Qaeda – their Dobsonites) decided to insist on their rights to the road to perdition.

Is Mr Kagan now going to try to insist he foresaw all this? Is he going to claim that because a pack of wolverines who were happily killing American troops saw their lifestyles endangered by some religious fanatics, they decided to make nice with the Occupation in order to get guns and cash? They are, at best, temporary allies of convenience and no more.

The nitrogen-breathers and their Likudnik ideologues are claiming the surge escalation is responsible for the “lessened violence and death” in Iraq, although as we have seen the drop in death during August is more likely due to the pretty unbearable campaigning conditions rather than a fear of the Occupation forces, and this year’s death toll is worse than 2006, which was worse than 2005, and so forth. We’ll get to test this theory pretty soon, because sadly the Democratic Party has neither the courage nor the ethics to stop the Republican juggernaut. This monstrosity will play itself out well past January 2009, no matter who ends up in the White House if we are allowed to have elections in November 2008.

It is now September. We begin Ramadan at sunset on September 12th. It lasts until October 12th this year. That is followed by the Eid ul-Fitr a day of feasting to regain strength after a month of fasting.

As the temperatures lessen we will move into campaign season once again and we will be able to judge how successful Generalissimo Field Marshal Kagan’s version of the Schlieffen Plan is by how many Americans scalps get collected.

For those who might be interested in polluting their minds with the now-discredited 18th century tools of logic and measurement, the GAO report is available here as a .pdf file dated September 5, 2007.