I know most of my readers agree with me about the catastrophic results of 14 years of republican management of our country, topped off with George Bu$h. (For all I know, all you readers from the .mil sites sit there at your consoles saying, “Yeah, you olde farte! Get some!”) And I do mean the last 14 years. When Newt Gingrich’s Contract On America brought a swarm of new r’s into Congress, the machinery of government stopped like a transmission full of sand. Bill Clinton might have been President, but the only legislation that got passed was something the republicans wanted, and that group of people wanted government to fail. If you recall they shut down the government several times by refusing to find it.

Now we’re stuck in a republican-engineered eternal war in Iraq and Afghanistan. We’ve got an exhausted Army with inadequate armor, troops rotating in and out of the catbox * soldiers and officers pulling the pin in numbers not seen in many years, and the divorce rate and suicide rate are up dynamically.

The Air Force has deadlined their entire fleet of F-15s because the damned things are breaking up. They want lots of new expensive planes to horse around the sky at 5 G’s playing Terry and the Pirates until those start to fall apart and then they’ll be back with their hands out for ever more ca$h. (And if they don’t get it, the evil terrorists will slip over our undefended borders and cut our throats in our sleep. The only thing that can keep us safe is $300 million fighter planes that are sort of stealthy!)
Thank any deity you like for the Navy. They’ll keep us safe, right?

Well, maybe not. Meatball One channels the War Nerd:, but first a word of warning.

I’ve mentioned Swedish Meatballs before. No one has a defense/ IO webpage quite like them. Actually, most defense-oriented webpages are work safe. And Meatballs may not be.

The War Nerd discusses the greatest Navy in the world and its chances in the Persian Gulf:

You might wonder, if you were real, real naive, why the Navy hasn't tried to learn from what van Ripen [sic] did to them six years ago in the same waters. Well, the truth is that no big, well-funded armed service learns or changes until it absolutely has to, which usually means when it starts to lose a war. And of all services, navies are by far the most stubborn, old-fashioned, snobby, retarded of all. I don't mean the submarine force, which is pretty much God. I mean the brass in their ridiculous floating targets, aka carriers, frigates, tankers and other dive-sites-in-the-making.

If they had any sense they'd realize that the way to deal with big overloaded targets is to saturate their defenses with a swarm of low-cost attackers. If you've got lives to spend, and the Iranians sure do, you spend lives to sink hardware. It's a good trade, when you consider what a carrier costs, and how little the average Iranian life is worth. They're Shia! These guys can't wait to give their lives away. The Kamikazes were squeamish moderates compared to the Revolutionary Guard. And thanks to Silicon Valley and its Chinese knockoffs, you can fire swarms of unmanned rockets instead of Shia martyrs, so you don't even need to spend one life per blip on the US fleet's little screens. You can even send empty rocket tubes as part of the swarm, because in the few seconds the surface vessel has to react, it can't determine which threats are nuke, which are conventional HE and which are decoys.

Of course the Navy insists their ships are safe, because they’ve got great ship-to-ship missiles and Aegis radar and the Phalanx last-resort close-in defense gun.

Hmmm… yes….

[T]he Phalanx was never meant to handle swarms of low-tech attackers. That's not the clean, temperate-zone war the computer dweebs in the Pentagon planned for. See, the original Phalanx only had 1000 rounds in its magazine. The newer models have 1.550, meaning even the USN realized that it was too easy to saturate the target with decoy attacks and deplete the magazine. But 1550 rounds isn't much at that rate of fire--and the Achilles heel of the system is reloading. It's not that easy to hoist 1550 20mm rounds into position, and I don't think either van Riper or the Iranians would be likely to agree to a 15-minute reloading break.

If it was me, and maybe I'm too "cynical" or something, I'd send all my empty missile tubes and expendable suicide squads in the first wave, all at once like van Riper did. I'd count to 90, because 90 seconds would be enough to empty every Phalanx magazine--and you can bet that those scared Navy computer nerds down in the Operations Room would be holding the red buttons down till the barrels were melting when they realized they were under a real attack. Then, while the grunts below deck were hauling the ammo into position, I'd send the second wave with the real stuff. And that, as they say, would be that. A trillion dollars of US Navy hardware becomes an artificial reef.

There’s a good argument to be made that when our Navy ships were teased in the Gulf two weeks ago they were there because someone hoped they would be attacked. Yes, I know – unthinkable. It was also unthinkable that the entire air defense forces of the United States were ordered to stand down on September 11, 2001. It’s a historical fact that they were, but there seems to be no record of who gave the order.

It all makes me wonder just why someone hasn’t had the sense and the testicles to demand these clowns be removed before they cripple us even more.

* Drudge-like flashing light alert! Must credit Fixer!

UPDATE: Repaired poorly placed link.